Everyone knows how walking the dog is supposed to lighten your mood, reduce stress decrease your blood pressure. Animals are supposed to add "unconditional love" and some structure to daily life.
I was thinking about this at the dog park today as I swore under my breath, trying to lure my dog back to me. My obedient, complacent, shaggy black dog. The dog who hasn't been walked in two days because it's been too cold to even breathe outdoors. 2 degrees F is my limit, the dog can settle with peeing on the snowbank and coming back in.
I know he's getting restless, so we compromise. I agree to take him to a giant fenced yard full of dogs and frozen dog crap, and he agrees (at least in my mind) to our standard contract of being his normally cooperative self.
He plays with other dogs, and we start playing a good game of fetch. Except he decides that he no longer needs to bring the ball back. I call him, he runs away from me, with the ice covered tennis ball. I call him again. He lifts his leg on the tree and trots farther away. The other dog park "parents" look at me. Some offer sympathetic smiles. I know what's running through their heads. "That dog needs some training/she obviously doesn't know what she's doing/MY dog would never do that/did you hear her YELL at her dog??/Tsk, tsk!"
All the while my dog, the dog that the shelter staff thinks is a good candidate for therapy dog training, completely ignores me. The dog that already has basic obedience skills under his belt, acts like he doesn't even know who I am. But I know what's really going on. He's giving me the finger. And there is nothing I can do about it.
He pauses, so he can start destroying the tennis ball. I try to walk up to him but he knows what's going on and races away. I here a few "parents" snicker. By the way, when did dog owners start referring to themselves as dog parents anyways? When dogs started getting health insurance and dressed up in cute little coats? (And yes, I did look into vet insurance, and my dog does wear a coat when it's 2 degrees out, but he's my dog. He's not my kid).
I digress. So I'm trying to just wait out this little game of "chase" which really means in dog language "your lazy ass can never catch me, so don't even try." I don't bother calling him, since he obviously is using selective hearing. He's been playing this game for about 20 minutes. I can no longer feel my face. I decided the best thing to do is to let him think I'm leaving him.
I get to the gate, grab his leash off the hanger, and call him one last time. He looks over his shoulder, and you can see him realize that I'm leaving. Without him.
He races to me, sits politely while I attach his leash. The whole time there is a little string of bad words trailing through my head.
Stress reliever, my ass. I think I need to renegotiate our contract.
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2 comments:
Your dog wouldn't by chance be part husky? Sounds like my dog.
When Pepper's in the house or on a rope she's very obedient; but when she gets loose she is her own animal. Stubborn bitch.
Nature of the beast, I think. Huskies are notorious about that stuff. I took care of a friend's dogs. She has 15 siberian huskies (they're sled dogs). Obedient when hooked to a sled, but if they get loose, good luck catching one!
My guy is a mongrel...part cocker spaniel, part basset. I think he's conflicted. Some genes say "let's pay attention" and the rest give me the finger.
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